Dear Gillian,

I hope it's OK that I stole this picture off of your Facebook page. There were so many lovely pictures of you that it was hard to choose. While we're speaking of Facebook, I want you to know how much I appreciated that you accepted me as a friend. The first time I met you I think you were understandably not very happy about what was about to take place. Not only were you getting a stepmother, you were getting a huge mess of new "relatives". It was a lot to handle in just a few days. What a contrast we saw when you came to our 40th anniversary celebration! You seemed happy to be here and you interacted with the other cousins more than we had ever seen. We were so happy about that. You are becoming such a lovely young lady.

You may or may not know that I was a child of divorced parents. I think I can say that without an exception, that was the hardest thing that ever happened to me. Divorce happens most to children. Adults move on and find new lives, but children forever are missing one parent or the other and wondering what might have been. The one thing I did learn is that the new people who come into your life as a result of divorce are usually wonderful people. Any people that love and care about you can add good things to your life. So there is that "silver lining in the cloud" so to speak. I hope that the Hassells will be a positive memory in your life despite the sad event that brought it all about. We love your dad so much and he has healed a very big void in Marla's life and we are grateful for that, but we wish that it hadn't come about because of divorce. We so appreciate all the love you have shown to Jane and Catherine.

Divorce might make you question the whole doctrine of eternal marriage. I hope you will know that even though sometimes bad things happen and even some temple marriages don't work out, many, many do. The ones that do usually succeed because the two people involved are committed to the covenants they have made and they have been prayerful in making the decision about the person with whom they choose to spend eternity. After the marriage, they live and keep the commandments, they work very hard to be the best spouse they can be and they remember to put the other person's needs ahead of their own. Unselfishness is a huge key to a successful marriage!

The pictures on your Facebook page seem to show that you have good friends and are involved in wholesome activities. They show that you love your family too! You are at a wonderful time in your life. Enjoy every minute because you will be an adult for a long time!

You probably already that bad things can happen and you can still have a happy life. Heavenly Father knows you and loves you and is concerned about every aspect of your life. Pray to Him and then listen for answers and you will know the things that you should do. Trust your parents and your church leaders. They too love you and want what is best for you. I know these things
are true and I hope you do too!

I love you, Gillian!

Gramma Hassell